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“Mom, can you help?”
I stop cutting the vegetables for dinner and go to the kitchen table where my son is doing his advanced math homework. It’s times like this that I’m glad I have an engineering degree.
I sit down, ready to bring out my math knowledge and teaching skills. I want to make sure I don’t just give him the answer, but ask him questions so that he happens upon it himself.
“OK – walk me through your thinking,” I say. And he starts explaining the problem. Except then he stops.
“Hold on,” he says. And he starts erasing and re-working the numbers. I patiently wait, as I sit there with him as he works.
“Never-mind Mom, I got it. Thanks!”
"Listening is a skill that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self."
Here I was, all ready to to use my expertise and knowledge. He thought he needed additional knowledge too. But we both realize, that’s not what was actually needed.
Instead… what was really needed? A space to think. To get outside of your own head. Knowing that someone is there to listen. Without judgement. A safe space.
As s a mom, I was happy my son could figure it out without extra hints or information!
But the same has happened in the workplace. And there… I have almost felt disappointed. Like, I wasn’t really needed. Because I used to think that was the only way to add value… to add expertise.
But leaders don’t have to know the most in the room. In fact… trusting others, even when they don’t trust themselves, can be the most powerful thing a leader can do.
It boosts confidence. It builds connection. It enables transparency.
And how do you do that, besides just having trust for your team and coworkers?
❌ giving your opinion
❌ sharing what you know
✅ asking open ended questions
✅ listening, without judgement
Sometimes being a ‘think partner’ is the best help you can give.
“Listening is a skill that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.”
– Dean Jackson
Real estate coach and internet marketer
