Back to all posts
McKinsey research shows the importance – for business impact and career success – of also managing your manager.
But personally, I’ve always found the term, “Managing Up”, to be confusing. It sounds like you’re managing the person, which always felt wrong to me. But what I’ve come to realize is that Managing Up is really about building your relationship.
It’s not waiting for your manager to help you (even if it is their job). It’s taking the lead and showing them you care about them and their success too. It’s building a real professional partnership – not just a manager / direct report relationship.
I’ve done this for all of my managers… which resulted in most of them becoming my mentors as well – even when I no longer report to them.
We’d both invested so much into each other, that it only made sense to keep going.
So, how do you go about building a relationship that strong…. by Managing Up?
"No amount of knowledge, technique, or quick wittedness can substitute for honesty and the genuine desire to help others."
Here’s 7 tips from some really smart people, that I can personally say have also worked for me:
1/ Always Align 2 Questions:
“Make sure you and your manager have the same answers to these two key questions:
A. What is success for me personally?
B. What is success for my manager’s team?
The intersection of your success and your manager’s success is where magic happens, and where your opportunities for fulfilling impact lie.”
- Julie Zhuo, formerly product design @ Facebook
2/ Break Out of Your Tunnel Vision
“When you’re working for someone, you often have a spotlight effect on your relationship: You naturally think of your relationship with this person as their most important (and by extension, your project is their most important project).
In reality, being a manager is about competing priorities across team members.
Understand what actually are your manager’s most urgent priorities, and then adjust accordingly.”
- Matt Wallaert, former Chief Behavioral Officer at Clover Health
3/ Distinguish Between Communicating and Vocalizing (there’s a difference).
“Being more vocal doesn’t necessarily mean you’re better at communicating. You need to be thoughtful with the message you communicate, otherwise, the result will not align with your intention.
Pointing out areas for improvement without ideas for solutions is not worth much.”
- Michael Urrutia, Senior Data Analyst at Thirty Madison
4/ Train Your Manager How To Treat You
“You cannot add value to your manager if you don’t believe your manager is treating you well. So it’s important to ‘train your manager’ from the very beginning.
For example, I did not answer partner emails after 7pm on weeknights and weekends (except for emergencies) because I didn’t want them to believe I was available 24/7. I never told them this explicitly — I simply used my actions to shape their expectations.”
- Evita Grant, CEO & Founder of TecHustle
5/ Speak The Same Language
“I make sure I’m speaking the same language as my manager. By language, I mean understanding what’s important to the manager and business as a whole, and then framing anything I’m doing or want to do in that context.
Looking to the company and team OKRs really helps here. Highlighting how something you want to work on will move the manager’s goals or that specific metric can give you a lot more freedom to define your own strategy and take some pressure off the person above you.”
- Matt Nicosia, Director of Growth at Crossbeam
6/ Provide a Weekly ‘State of Me’ Report
“It’s nearly impossible to over-communicate. Regularly share what you’re doing, what you plan to do, and what you’ve done with your manager.
This weekly email should include your current priorities, things on your mind, and blockers you need help with. You can also highlight material changes to your priorities from the week prior.”
- Lenny Rachitsky, a former product lead and head of consumer supply growth at Airbnb
7/ Connect With Empathy
“Empathizing up is really hard to do.”
- Liz Kosinski, VP of People Operations at Sift
To help, she leans on this rough playbook:
- Assume positive intent, especially when you don’t agree.
- Get curious. Ask questions to get more clarity about their thought process.
- Playback what you heard. This shows you’re listening.
- Yes, and: Focus on what you agree on, and add value to make the idea even better.
———-
Remember that relationship building is not a one-time event. But do these things consistently… and you’ll find your connection with your manager transform.
“No amount of knowledge, technique, or quick wittedness can substitute for honesty and the genuine desire to help others.”
– John C. Maxwell, Jim Dornan
in How To Influence People: Make A Difference In Your World
