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The most misunderstood fact about assertiveness: You think it’s all about conflict… But it’s not.
Ok sure – being assertive ‘includes’ managing conflict of course.
But it also includes:
~ Voicing your needs
~ Expressing your feelings
~ Asking for what you want
~ Enforcing your boundaries
~ It’s even assertive to say ‘I love you’ first
“What we do is more important than what we say or what we say we believe.”
Here are the facts:
→ Being assertive explodes your confidence.
↳ Not being assertive puts limits on you.
→ Asking for what you want shows your direction & vision.
↳ Ignoring what you want will deny your own worth.
→ Prioritising everyone else’s needs may make you more popular
↳ Consistently deprioritizing your own will undermine your leadership.
But here’s the twist.
You avoid being assertive because you think you will:
~ Upset people
~ Lose other people’s respect
~ Come across as needy or demanding
But the truth is you will:
~ Upset way less people
~ Come across as self-assured
~ Actually GAIN other people’s respect
Why?
~ People know where they are with you
~ People feel safe around you
~ People trust your word
Your bold, yet respectful, communication will be your new best friend.
Being assertive sounds easy. But let’s not pretend it’s easy for everyone.
The thing is, once you nail the art of powerful communication…
You stop avoiding and start embracing the brave conversations that make you stand out as a leader.
“What we do is more important than what we say or what we say we believe.”
bell hooks
aka Gloria Jean Watkins, American author, professor, social activist
