Closed Doors

I was kicked out.

“XXX removed you from this conversation.” I had been a part of this group for 7 months. We supported each other on LinkedIn, liking and commenting on each other’s posts. Encouraging each other, learning from each other. It was a community.

And without explanation, after the holiday break… I wasn’t a part of it anymore.

I felt rejected. There was a feeling of failure. I was in an emotional low.

It took a day or two… but then, I started to question. Who did I really want to be partnering with? I began to realize that the group weren’t the people I needed at this point.

They were great people, but we didn’t actually share the same subject matter interests. They were exactly what I needed when I joined 7 months ago, people with a common purpose to grow on LinkedIn… but I have grown. And honestly, we were no longer a good fit. It was time to change my strategy to reach the next level.

I realized… having the door closed to this group, was actually doing me a favor

This happened to me just last week.

But I could have shared the time when my job was eliminated. That one included losing a paycheck… but it would have followed the same story line.

Loss. Rejection. Closed Doors.

You also find ‘dead ends’ when leading new ideas. It’s not often talked about – but finding that things aren’t working, a potential path forward isn’t possible – is a loss too. You feel grief. It happens quite frequently when leading innovation, because you’re literally creating a new path forward – and there are just many that don’t work.

In that moment of loss… that emotional low is automatic. It’s wired into our brain because failure in the “early years” of human existence could mean a death sentence.

However, times have changed. Resources needed to live are no longer limited. The best thing about living in 2023 is that… you have many possible new doors available to you.

When a door closes, this is actually an invitation to step back and think. You’ll still feel low as an initial reaction. You’re wired to. However, you have the power to activate newer, logical parts of your brain too.

Just ask yourself these two questions:

1. What is it that I really want to do or achieve?

2. What are other ways to get there?

#1 helps to zoom out and refocus on your true north star. Many times, this hasn’t changed (though it can).

#2 helps to highlight that there’s more than one path forward. That closed door was only one of many options. Don’t stop at just one when answering this question… give yourself choices! Now you can make a new plan.

Through these questions, I often find that the closed door is helping to re-direct me in a new, better direction. Like bumpers in bowling… it’s a jarring bump, but you’re  redirected and stay out of the gutter.

I’m excited to hear about all the new doors you’ll find!

“We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

– Walt Disney

American animator, film producer and entrepreneur