Back to all posts
“I was just joking” they said… after they insulted you.
What do you do?
Maybe it was intentional… or maybe it wasn’t. But really, it doesn’t matter. What matters is how you respond.
I’ve heard some people say they ignore it… take the high road and let it go. They would forgive, forget, and keep going.
But the biggest downside of not addressing this, especially when others are present, is that it (unintentionally) says this behavior won’t be addressed directly and is therefore permissible – enabling it to continue happening. Your actions, no matter your level, help to shape culture.
“Leadership is about courage. It's about finding the courage to show up and have difficult conversations, to take risks and embrace change.”
So here are 3 options that say “this is not ok” and helps you show up strong:
1/ “Then be funnier.”
It indicates that an insult followed by ‘I was just joking’ – wasn’t actually a joke. If you were going for funny, that wasn’t it.
2/ “I’m surprised by that.”
This flips the power in the conversation. The statement surprises them, and they’re going to ask… ‘What do you mean?’
You respond, ‘I’m surprised… that you went with that.’ Now you’re showing up assertive and confident.
3/ “That doesn’t sound like a joke. It sounds like an issue.”
You stay silent after that. This gives them the opportunity to address what they just said.
They’re either going to own up and acknowledge how they’re truly feeling or start backpedaling, realizing they made a mist
“Leadership is about courage. It’s about finding the courage to show up and have difficult conversations, to take risks and embrace change.”
Brene Brown
American professor, social worker, author, and podcast host
