Is this you too?

I look at my calendar to see what’s scheduled today… and it’s a massive block, looking like a funky Jenga. Small ones sandwiched between longer ones… every available space is taken, many double or even triple booked.

I mean, it’s wonderful to feel wanted. But… The sight doesn’t fill me with joy. It’s more like .  You know?

Let’s face it… back-to-back meeting days are just not ok.

And yet, it’s often the norm.

But turning down a meeting invite can be tricky… especially if people don’t really decline meetings at your workplace.

It can be seen as… ‘well, who do you think you are?’ or ‘You were free, why can’t you join?’.

The thing is, managing your time is important to do your best work… and more importantly, it’s important for your mental health.

Your brain needs space to function and process – especially after a meeting filled with tension, frustration… and on the opposite side, excitement and energy.

But only you can make it happen.

Here are 7 steps to help you to decline meetings without hesitating:

1/ Check Your Priorities

Does this meeting invite fit within your work goals and objectives? If not… decline.

Remember, your priorities take priority. Not because you are selfish. But because you are dedicated and committed to making an impact. You cannot do this, when your energy is used elsewhere.

“The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It’s very easy to say yes.” – Tony Blair

2/ Know The Meeting Outcome

Unfortunately, most meeting invites are sent without a clear objective. To “talk about XXX” is not a purpose. Talking is not an outcome – it does not guarantee progress. If it is not clear, ask the meeting organizer.

Make it a practice never to accept a meeting invite unless you know the purpose. Often clarifying the objective reveals that you don’t need to be there.

In fact, just by helping someone clarify the meeting purpose, you already provided value… You helped them to know what they really need.

3/ Say Thank You

Before you say no, show your appreciation for being thought of in the first place.

No matter the intention or reason you were invited, you were considered, and that is lovely. Tell them… “Thank you for this invitation, I appreciate it!”

This simple thing can:

• Reduce conflict
• Uplift their mood
• Strengthen your relationship

4/ Acknowledge The Project

If the meeting is not one of your priorities… Tell the requester that what they’re doing is important, interesting, or awesome.

This gives them recognition that their choice to work on this project is a good one (even if you’re not choosing to).

This can help:

• Cultivate trust
• Increase connection
• Boost their confidence and self-esteem

5/ Provide Value

The best leaders help in any situation – even if they are declining a meeting. Give something valuable, even if is small… This can be:

• Your initial thoughts on the challenge at hand
• A connection to someone else who can help
• An article on the topic
• A tool or framework
• A report or data

This way they have something, even if they won’t have your presence at the meeting.

6/ Follow Up With An Instant Message / Phone Call

An additional touch point will help to manage, and strengthen a relationship – even with a decline. The extra effort to connect can go a long way in demonstrating you are not saying no lightly, and that you empathize with them.

The time and effort it takes to do this is often 10x less than attending the meeting itself.

As a bonus, showing that either this project isn’t a priority or you don’t accept meetings without a clear purpose can even prevent future unnecessary meetings.

7/ Clearly Decline

Don’t use the “Maybe” button on your calendar invite. Make it clear you are not attending with  “No”.

Giving clear expectations is a key leadership skill, so people know what to expect. By clearly declining you are promoting:

• Respect
• Honesty
• Responsibility
• Transparency

“Clear is kind.” – Brene Brown

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These really helped me to free up space… and required me to be clear on what really needs to be done to move my projects forward.

Unfortunately, it is more work and takes critical thinking. But it’s well worth the effort.

And by declining unnecessary meetings, you’ll be a role model for others as well.

Enjoy your extra space… and breathe 🙂